Every Daily Star Front Page Headline of 2011

Inspired by Bibliophylax and in light of the Leveson Inquiry today, I decided to investigate The Daily Express’ sister paper The Daily Star.

Here is a typical front page:

Listed below is the paper’s every front page splash of that year.

Every single headline that this paper thought mattered.

So… what happened?

The Royal Wedding

SEXY STAG STRIPPERS FOR WILLS (13th Feb)
KATE, YOU NEED CAKE (21st Apr)
ROYAL BABY ON WAY (27th Apr)
ONE’S BOUND TO SCORE TOMORROW WILLS (28th Apr)
HAPPIEST DAY OF OUR LIVES (29th Apr)
ONE BEAUTIFUL BRIDE… ONE GREAT DAY TO BE BRITISH (30th Apr)
WE’RE OFF FOR A QUICKIE (1st May)
KATE’S BACK UP AISLE (6th May)
WILLS AND KATE SEXY HOLIDAY SECRETS (11th May)
PIPPA PERVS (29th May)
OWZAT! PIPPA CAUGHT OUT AND HE’S HOT (12th Jun)
PIPPA’S POSH LOVE NEST (19th Jun)
THE ROYAL SHACK PALACE (3rd Jul)
KATY FURY OVER FAKE ANOREXIA PICS (6th Jul)
ROYAL THIGHNESS (9th Jul)
KATE’S BABY SECRET (31st Jul)
KATE GETS A HOME FOR NEW BABY (6th Nov)
KATE SNUBS ROYAL GUN FEST (27th Dec)

Then of course, the other Wills and Kate of our lives, Jordan and Peter…
THE END: JORDAN AND ALEX CONFIRM THEIR DIVORCE (12th Jan)
JORDAN AND THE TRUTH (13th Jan)
PICS THAT WRECKED JORDAN’S MARRIAGE (17th Jan)
JORDAN’S £1M GAG FOR ALEX (15th Jan)
JORDAN: A DIFFERENT MAN EVERY NIGHT (14th Jan)
JORDAN IN SHOCK DIVORCE BREAKDOWN (18th Jan)
ALEX FLEES IN THE NIGHT (19th Jan)
JORDAN – ALEX STILL MAKES ME SLEEP WITH HIM (20th Jan)
ALEX AND ANDRE UNITE AGAINST JORDAN (25th Jan)
JORDAN V POSH: IT’S WAR (30th Jan)
JORDAN 999 DASH MYSTERY (31st Jan)
JORDAN’S JOY AS ALEX QUITS (1st Feb)
JORDAN… THE MOVIE (2nd Feb)
JORDAN AND PETE KISS AND MAKE-UP (3rd Feb)
JORDAN FURY AT TOT’S BURN ‘LIES’ (7th Feb)
JORDAN AND ANDRE IN SHOCKING NEW PUNCH-UP (8th Feb)
WILD ALEX ATTACKS JORDAN (11th Feb)
JORDAN’S NEW HOT DATE (12th Feb)
JORDAN: PETE’S KILLING ME WITH LIES AND SMEARS (14th Feb)
JORDAN AND PETE BRITS BUST-UP (16th Feb)
JORDAN: MY CAR SMASH HORROR (19th Feb)
JORDAN: MY KIDNAP THREAT TERROR (21st Feb)
JORDAN: PETE’S STILL IN LOVE WITH ME (25th Mar)
JORDAN’S NIGHT WITH ANDRE HUNK (2nd Mar)
JORDAN FURY AT PETE KISS PHOTO (3rd Mar)
JORDAN DIVORCE TODAY: OFFICIAL (11th Mar)
‘QUEEN’ JORDAN UNSEATS ROYALS (19th Mar)
JORDAN PICS WILL MAKE PETE RAGE (21st Mar)
PETE’S LOVE CHILDS (27th Mar)
JORDAN: IF I REVEALED WHAT REALLY HAPPENED ALEX WOULD BE DESTROYED FOR EVER! (28th Mar)
JORDAN AND PETER: OUR SEX SECRETS WERE HACKED (21st Jul)
JORDAN AND PETER NEW JUNGLE RUMBLE (8th Nov)

We cared about the sexual and other exploits of Premiership footballers:
ANDRE: I’M IN LOVE WITH LAMPARD’S EX MISSUS (5th Jan)
ASH ON LASH WITH 2 BLONDES (1st Mar)
BALLS TO THE BUDGET (24th Mar)
ROONEY: WHO SWEARS WINS (9th Apr)
TOP ACTOR IN SEX ROMPS WITH ROO VICE GIRL (14th Apr)
ROONEY TART IS GANG BANG BOSS MOLL (15th Apr)
SOCCER SEX RAT MAKES ROO LOOK LIKE SAINT! (16th Apr)
ROONEY TART’S DEATH THREATS (18th Apr)
30 GAG ORDER SEX RATS NAMED (19th Apr)
SEX-GAG IMOGEN FLEES BRITAIN (26th Apr)
GAGGING SCANDAL BABE: I’M CRACKING UP (13th May)
IMOGEN’S £100K PREM PLAYER SEX PLOT (17th May)
IMOGEN: I WILL NAME PREM LOVER AND GO TO JAIL (18th May)
FURIOUS ROONEY THREATENS TO KNOCK OUT FAN (19th May)
IMOGEN FOOTIE LOVER SUES TWITTER (21st May)
RYAN GIGGS NAMED AS IMOGEN LOVE CHEAT (24th May)
WIFE SHOWS GIGGSY BED CARD (25th May)
GIGGS: HOW MANY MORE WOMEN? (27th May)
BUNG TO RIGHTS! NOW GIVE ENGLAND BACK THE WORLD CUP (31st May)
IMOGEN: SEX WITH GIGGS TURNED ME LESBIAN (1st Jun)
GIGGS 8 YR AFFAIR WITH BRO’S WIFE (5th Jun)
RAT GIGGS: MY SERIAL SEX CHEAT GAME (6th Jun)
STACEY GIGGS: I FORGIVE LOVE RAT RYAN (7th Jun)
GIGGS IS A SEX ADDICT… THE NEW TIGER WOODS (8th Jun)
GIGGS NEW LOVER NEW SEX PIC SHOCK (9th Jun)
GIGGS LOVER IN 3-WAY SEX SHOCK (10th Jun)
SHAMED GIGGS FACES JAIL (11th Jun)
GIGGS BEDS BIG BRUV ‘GEEZER BIRD’ (13th Jun)
GIGGS TELLS HIS BRO: DUMP YOUR SLAPPER (14th Jun)
RYAN GIGGS: IMOGEN’S £1M BABE SPREE (15th Jun)
GIGGS LOVER BABY BUMP (16th Jun)
GIGGS BEDDED BABE IN MY HOME (17th Jun)
I DRESSED AS FRENCH MAID FOR SEX WITH GIGGS (18th Jun)
GIGGS’ LOVER IN SEX ROMP REVENGE (20th Jun)
SEX ADDICT GIGGS GETS THERAPY (21st Jun)
GIGGSY LOVER GOES GAY! (23rd Jun)
GIGGS SECRET LOVE CHILD (25th Jun)
I’M GIGGS’S SECRET LOVE CHILD (29th Jun)
CHERYL AND ASHLEY’S BABY LOVE (4th Jul)
YES I’VE MADE MISTAKES. I HAVE TO LIVE WITH IT (5th Jul)
LOVE CHEAT RIO’S ELEVEN SEXY BABES (7th Jul)
TOO MUCH SEX TURNS GIGGS’ HAIR WHITE (12th Jul)
GIGGS KINKY FROLIC WITH BELLY DANCE BABE (27th Jul)
FOOTIE ACE RIO SPARKS WHITE HOUSE TERROR ALERT (30th Jul)
RANDY CARROLL (11th Sep)
ROON’S DAD IN FOOTIE BETS QUIZ (7th Oct)
OWEN’S BRO IN ROONEY BET PROBE (9th Oct)
GIGGS IN SECRET BUST-UP WITH LOVER (13th Oct)
GIGGY’S NOT A REAL MAN (14th Oct)
ASHLEY COLE’S SECRET LOVER (18th Oct)
FIREBERK – BALOTELLI’S £1.3M MANSION TORCHED AFTER BANGERS LET OFF… IN HIS BEDROOM (23rd Oct)
ASHLEY COLE ATTACKS CLUBBER (27th Nov)
TERRY RACE HATE CHARGE (22nd Dec)
PREM STAR BLOWS WHISTLE ON ORGE CHRISTMAS PARTIES (10th Dec)
IMOGEN: TRUTH ABOUT ME & GIGGS (16th Dec)
HARRY’S BENDER WITH BECKHAM (23rd Dec)

Oh and a Royal…
PRINCE ANDY’S THAI GIRL TAKEAWAY (30th Jan)

Our favourite TV show of the year? Well there’s I’m A Celebrity…
FREDDIE STARR STUFFED BY TURKEY (15th Nov)
FREDDIE: THEY THOUGHT I’D DIE (16th Nov)
FUMBLE IN THE JUNGLE (19th Nov)

Strictly…
ALESHA’S STRICTLY BET FIX SCANDAL (25th Sep)
McFLYING HIGH (17th Dec)
STRICTLY STARS AXED (18th Dec)

Britain’s Got Talent…
SUITS YOU SIR! (17th Apr)
COWELL CRISIS AS BGT SLUMPS (25th Apr)
BGT AMANDA RACIST BUST-UP (23rd May)
BGT IN FIX CLAIM SHOCK (3rd June)

Eastenders…
ALBERT SQUARE WALKOUT (9th Jan)

Oh and TOWIE… apparently
BIG FAT ESSEX CON (29th Mar)
ESSEX LOVE RIVALS REAL LIFE PUNCH-UP (30th Mar)
ESSEX AMY: MY RED HOT NIGHTS WITH PETER ANDRE (5th Apr)
AMY: I’M BEING FROZEN OUT OF ESSEX (20th Apr)
ONE’S ONLY WA-HEY IS ESSEX (26th Jun)
ESSEX STAR MARK FACING JAIL (4th Aug)
TOWIE MARIA – TRUTH ABOUT MY LIFE AS ESCORT (15th Oct)
TV MARIA DUMPED OVER SEX CLAIMS (17th Oct)
TOWIE STARS’ SECRET ROMPS (19th Dec)

Especially when things turned ugly…
TOWIE’S SAM IS BEATEN UNCONSCIOUS AND LEFT FOR DEAD (24th oct)
TOWIE’S SAM: I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE (25th Oct)
WE’LL GET REVENGE FOR TOWIE GIRLS (26th Oct)
TOWIE GIRLS’ STEPDAD ON GOLD HEIST RAP (2nd Nov)
TOWIE BABES: ‘WE’LL STAND STRONG’ (3rd Nov)

What else was there? Oh yeah that Red or Black thing…
COWELL’S £1M TELLY ROULETTE (8th Apr)

And don’t forget that really sensitive gypsy documentary:
A BIG FAT GYPSY FIX (17th Feb)
BIG FAT £10M GYPSY COMPO (18th Feb)
BIG FAT GYPSY TERROR (22nd Feb)
BIG FAT GYPSY DWARF (26th Feb)
BIG FAT GYPSY SEX SECRETS (28th Feb)
OUR BIG FAT GYPSY HELL (4th Mar)
BIG FAT GYPSY BLOODBATH (5th Mar)
GYPSIES GOT TALENT! (7th Mar)
BIG FAT GYPSY JUNGLE (10th Mar)

We only watched X Factor when we were convinced it was a fix…
FIX EXCLUSIVE: COWELL AND ME… THE TRUTH (4th Jun)
X FACTOR FANS’ DURY AS MISHA SAVED BY FAKED TEARS (21st Nov)
COLDPLAY FIX IT FOR JANET (23rd Nov)
FANS FURY AS GARY FIXES IT FOR MARCUS (5th Dec)
AMELIA: NEW FIX FACTOR FEARS (8th Dec)

Or when it didn’t work…
X FACTOR TULISA CHOPS 4 OVER SEX-FEST (17th Sep)
WHY I HAD TO QUIT X FACTOR (2nd Oct)
X FACTOR CRISIS AS GARY FLIPS (10th Oct)
X FACTOR IN CHAOS (22nd Oct)
WHY I’VE GOT TO QUIT (13th Nov)
COWELL GETS STUFFED FOR XMAS (20th Dec)

Or when they were all bullies…
TV LOUIS SUICIDAL OVER GAY SEX LIES (24th Jun)
X FACTOR BULLY SLURS RUINED MY LIFE (6th Dec)

Or convicts…
LITTLE MIX DAD JAILED OVER KILLING (4th Dec)

Or when we thought they were Jesus…
XMAS CRACKERS – SURVEY SHOWS KIDS BELIEVE SIMON COWELL IS MESSIAH… (21st Dec)

Or when they weren’t dead…
TELLY KING COWELL IS DEAD (2nd Jun)

Or when they could be dead…
COWELL DEATH THREAT TERROR (12th May)

Or when they took off their clothes…
COWELL’S X RATED SECRETS EXPOSED (2nd May)
SEX FACTOR: BOOT CAMP STARS IN SECRET JACUZZI ROMP (8th Oct)
X FACTOR KITTY’S £300K TO STRIP (19th Oct)
X FACTOR STAR’S GIVE GIRLS IN A NIGHT (20th Oct)
SEX FACTOR FRANKIE IS A RAT (1st Nov)
KITTY’S NEW SEXY SECRET REVEALED (12th Nov)
AXED KITTY’S 8-HOUR SEX-FEST (14th Nov)
X FACTOR KITTY STOLE MY LIFE (25th Nov)
BULLIES BOOBS BOOZE AND US – LITTLE MIX (13th Dec)

Or when they supposedly wanted to kill each other…
CHERYL AND PAULA’S SHOCK X FACTOR FIGHT (28th May)
COWELL GETS THE EGGS FACTOR (26th Sep)
X FACTOR TULISA DUMPS TOFFS (27th Sep)
TULISA: MY X FACTOR FIGHT WITH CHERYL (1st Oct)
X FACTOR KITTY KICKS OFF (16th Oct)
X FACTOR BABES NEW FIGHT NIGHT (4th Nov)
X FACTOR TULISA BREAKS DOWN (5th Nov)
FURIOUS GARY’S X-RATED RAMPAGE (7th Nov)
X FACTOR PARTY STREET BRAWL (15th Dec)

Or when they got ill…
COWELL’S CANCER VIGIL (20th Feb)
AMELIA – DOCTORS TOLD ME: NEXT SONG MIGHT LEAVE YOU BLIND (20th Nov)

Or when they were lesbian…
COWELL LESBIAN KISS SHOCK (14th May)

Or when they weren’t on it…
CHERYL AND DEREK: IT’S TRUE LOVE (3rd Jan)
CHERYL I WANT A BABY (23rd Jan)
JITTERY CHERYL IS MADE TO SWEAT (9th May)
FANS FURY AT DANNII EXIT (16th May)
SACKED CHERYL IN £5M TELLY DEAL (30th May)
CHERYL FEARS FOR HER LIFE (27th Jun)
CHERYL DYEING FOR IT (30th Jun)
CHERYL MOVES BACK IN WITH RAT COLE (8th Aug)
CHERYL DEATH THREAT (18th Sep)
CHERYL GETS £5M TV CALL-UP (21st Sep)
NOW YANKS WANT CHERYL (22nd Sep)

Or when they won…
LITTLE MIX STRIKE GOLD (11th Dec)
LITTLE MIX FACTOR (3rd Dec)

Or when they were rich…
COWELL BILLION DOLLAR MAN (13th Apr)

Or when they dabbled in some drugs…
X FACTOR FRANKIE AXED OVER COCAINE SHAME (9th Nov)
FRANKIE: I’LL BE STAR WITHOUT X FACTOR (10th Nov)
X FACTOR DROVE FRANKIE TO DRINK AND DRUGS (11th Nov)
FRANKIE’S SEX AND DRUGS DEN (18th Nov)
X FACTOR FRANKIE IN NEW BOOZE AND BABES BENDER (17th Nov)
FRANKIE: I’LL BE IN X-FACTOR FINAL (9th Dec)

In fact, we cared about anyone who took off their clothes
CLARKSON SORRY? NO WAY JOSE! (5th Apr)
WIFE FURY OVER SEX CHEAT CLARKSON (4th Apr)
TOP GEAR CLARKSON £1M LOVE CHEAT DEAL (7th Apr)
CLARKSON WARNED YOU’LL LOSE THE LOT (11th Apr)
CLARKSON: I’M JUST A BABE MAGNET (12th Apr)
ARNIE’S ROMPS MAKE TIGER LOOK LIKE A VIRGIN (20th May)
MUCCA TO SUE OVER LEAKED SEX SECRETS (19th Jul)
JESSIE FIANCE’S SEX TEXTS TO EX (28th Aug)
MY KINKY SEX ROMPS WITH ENDERS JESSIE (31st Aug)
SEX MAD SHEEN PULLS 2 ESSEX BABES (22nd Apr)
TOP GEAR JEZZA IN SEX PICS FURY (10th May)
CLARKSON’S 3-GIRL SEX HAREM (31st Oct)
LOVE CHEAT CLARKSON IS A RICH BULLY (30th Oct)
CHERYL’S LUST FOR TOYBOY RECORD BOSS (14th Dec)

Dabbled in some booze and drugs…
SARAH: MY BOOZE HELL (12th Dec)

Split up from each other…
DEC DITCHES GEORDIE (23rd Apr)
RUSS AND KATY SPLIT (31st Dec)

Or got back together…
KERRY: I DID NOT WRECK HUNK’S MARRIAGE (24th Jan)
KERRY: WHY I’M BACK WITH MY EX HUBBY (2nd Apr)

Or were in hospital…
GEORGE MICHAEL SERIOUSLY ILL IN HOSPITAL (24th Nov)
GEORGE WILL NEVER SING AGAIN! (26th Dec)
IT WAS NEARLY MY LAST XMAS (24th Dec)

Or had babies…
PREGNANT POSH PRAYS FOR A PRINCESS (10th Jan)
PETER AND ELEN: OUR BABY JOY (4th Feb)
WILLS TO BE BECKHAMS’ GODFATHER (10th Jul)
POSH’S BABY PRINCESS (11th Jul)

Or got married…
EASTENDERS’ KAT TO WED (24th Apr)
KAT SAYS I DO TO BURGER VAN MAN (15th May)
ABBEY EVER AFTER (1st Jul)
KATE AND JAMIE’S SHOCK TRADITIONAL WEDDING (2nd Jul)

Or died…
I DON’T BLAME BLAKE FOR AMY’S DEATH (13th Sep)

Or butchered animals…
VIOLENCE OF THE LAMBS: ANT & DEC ROASTED FOR SHEEP CRUELTY (28th Jun)

Or were mean…
GIRL WHO REFUSED TO RUB ANDY GRAY’S TACKLE (26th Jan)
SKY MEAN QUITS OVER NEW SEX VIDEO (27th Jan)
OUTCASTS: SEXIEST SKY PAIR ARE TOLD – YOU’LL NEVER WORK AGAIN (28th Jan)
CLARKSON: ALL THE STRIKERS SHOULD BE SHOT (1st Dec)
CLARKSON: I’M SORRY FOR SHOOT STRIKERS JOKE (2nd Dec)
CLARKSON SPARS NEW TELLY ROW (30th Dec)

Or were hacked…
ROO SUES OVER TART LEAKS (13th Jul)
ULRIKA’S RED CARD FOR HACKERS (15th Jul)
SAVAGE! TV STAR PAUL: I WAS HACKED WHILE ‘DYING’ FROM A HEART ATTACK (16th Jul)
BECKS: I WAS HACKED (18th Jul)
GOTCHA: MURDOCH’S MISSUS WHACKS LOON WHO PIES RUPERT IN FACE (20th Jul)
RAGIC JADE’S PHONE WAS HACKED (22nd Jul)
JADE’S DYING CALL TO MUM HACKED (24th Sep)

Or were outrageous…
BIG FAT GYPSY WAR (14th Mar)
GEORDIE FURY AT SEX AND BOOZE TV FILTH (26th May)

But wait… Weren’t there some great programmes on Richard Desmond’s Channel 5!
BIG BRO GOES NAKED – ALL NUDE SHOW IS ON THE WAY (15th Mar)
BIG BRO’S HOTTEST SHOW EVER (Apr 1st)
SUMMER OF BRUV (3rd Apr)
CHANNEL 5 ALL NEW BIG BRO: IT COULD BE YOU! (6th Apr)
TELLY AMY QUITS ESSEX FOR BIG BRO (3rd Aug)
BIG BRO GOES ON BIG BOOZE SPENDER (5th Aug)
BIG BRO BIG SEXY SHOCK (16th Aug)
WILLS AND KATE IN BB HOUSE (18th Aug)
AMY: MY BOOBS WILL WIN BIG BRO (19th Aug)
BIG BRUV AMY STEAMS UP IN SAUNA (20th Aug)
BIG BRO HUNK’S 5-IN-BED SEX ROMPS (22nd Aug)
BIG BRO’S BIG LOVERS (23rd Aug)
BB IN NEW BULLY SHOCK (24th Aug)
B BRO AMY: KICK BULLY BOBBY OUT (25th Aug)
B BRO’S MOST SHOCKING SCENES EVER (26th Aug)
SALLY: BB SENT ME BONKERA (27th Aug)
B BRO SALLY: I WANT PADDY FOR MY HUBBY (29th Aug)
KERRY: I QUIT BIG BRO (31st Aug)
JEDWARD TRASH BB HOUSE (1st Sep)
B BRO BABES THREE WAY ROMP (2nd Sep)
JEDWARD’S B BRO STRIP SHOW (3rd Sep)
BOMB NUT AT BB HOUSE (4th Sep)
BIG BRUV SEX WAR AS LUCIEN BEDS AMY (5th Sep)
JEDWARD’S BB BREAKDOWN (6th Sep)
SEX TEASE AMY GETS BB BOOT (7th Sep)
BIG BRO STAR’S 13-IN-BED ORGY (8th Sep)
PADDY’S THE BIG BRO WINNER (9th Sep)
SEXIEST BIG BRO EVER (10th Sep)
BIG BRO BABE’S SHOCK SEX SECRET (12th Sep)
PAMMY: RED-HOT BB IS TICKING SEX BOMB (14th Sep)
WHEN PADDY GROPED SALLY (15th Sep)
BB NAKED ROMP (16th Sep)
BB LOVE CHEATS EXPOSED (19th Sep)
BIG BRO BITCHES SPITE NIGHT (20th Sep)
LUCIEN’S LUST FOR B BRO BEAUTY (23rd Sep)
BB PADDY’S GOING TO JAIL (7th Dec)
EAR-SLICE ‘PHYSCO’ JOINING BIG BRO HOUSE (28th Dec)

We also predicted celebrities who didn’t turn up…
CHERYL’S NEW B BRO BABE (31st Mar)
ASHLEY COLE’S SECRET LOVER IN BIG BRO (22nd Jun)
BAD BOY CHARLIE IN BB HOUSE (1st Aug)
JORDAN BUSTS INTO BIG BRO (17th Aug)

Shame we couldn’t enjoy this year…
HANDS OFF OUR BOOZE DAVE – FURY AT CHEAP DRINKS BAN (29th Dec)
WITH BRITAIN IN CRISIS, LABOUR SAY BAN BIG BRO FUN (29th Sep)

At least there were some good things on at the cinema…
HARRY POTTER SAYS HALLOW (8th Jul)

And of course there were the riots…
ANARCHY IN THE UK (9th Aug)
HEROES – KILLED FOR STANDING UP TO RIOTING MOB (11th Aug)
OLYMPIC ATHLETE ‘HURLED BRICKS AT RIOT POLICE’ (12th Aug)
HEROES BATTER LOOTERS (14th Aug)

And the police were going to fight back…
WE’LL SHOOT THE LOOTERS – FIGHTBACK STARTS NOW (10th Aug)

But thank god Wayne Rooney came to our aid…
ROONEY: RECLAIM OUR STREETS (13th Aug)
THANK ROO FOR SAVING US (15th Aug)

At least it was hot…
RED HOT OCTOBER (30th Sep)

And people did get carried away with themselves…
BRITAIN’S WORST BINGE DRINKER AGED 15 (15th Feb)
HANGOVER OF THE CENTURY (2nd Jan)

Sadly, there were some tragedies along the way…
TRAGIC JO: COPS QUIZ MAN NO 2 (1st Jan)
JO YEATES MURDER: 32 YEAR OLD MAN ARRESTED (21st Jan)
NIKITTA MURDER: LOVER’S BEST PAL QUIZZED (10th Feb)
WAVE OF DEATH (12th Mar)
HALF DEAD (13th Mar)
LOST KIDS: CLASS OF 30 QUAKE CHILDREN WHOSE MUMS WILL NEVER COME HOME FOR THEM (18th Mar)
SIAN COPS FIND HER BODY (25th Mar)
SIAN KILLER FOUR POSSIBLE VICTIMS (26th Mar)
BECKS BOY IS KNIFED TO DEATH (14th Jul)
30 TEENS KILLED IN TERROR ATTACK (23rd Jul)
AMY IS DEAD (24th Jul)
AMY’S 24-HOUR SUICIDAL BINGE (25th Jul)
TRAGIC AMY KILLED BY ‘GIVING UP’ BOOZE (28th Jul)
AGONY OF ‘PHONE HACK’ SARA PAYNE (29th Jul)
AMY’S DEATH WISH (2nd Aug)
BRIT TEEN KILLED BY POLAR BEAR (6th Aug)
CRASH HERO DIES (21st Aug)
‘FORBIDDEN’ TEEN LOVERS DEATH TRAGEDY (28th Oct)
DAY WE THOUGHT MILLY WAS STILL ALIVE (22nd Nov)
FOOTIE ACE GARY SPEED FOUND HANGED (28th Nov)
TRAGIC GARY: WE MAY NEVER KNOW WHY (29th Nov)
SPEED: FIVE MORE FOOTIE STARS ON BRINK (30th Nov)

And there was as much focus paid on the people who committed some crimes…
CLUE TO JO’S KILLER FROZEN IN THE SNOW (4th Jan)
TRAGIC JO STRANGLED WITH OWN SOCK (6th Jan)
I KNOW WHO KILLED JO YEATES (7th Jan)
JOANNE KILLER TAUNTS COPS (11th Jan)
SCANDAL OF 150 MADDIES (22nd May)
KILLER WITH EYES OF A DEVIL (26th Jul)
FOXY KNOXY WALKS FREE (4th Oct)
KILLER DID XMAS SHOP WITH JO’S BODY IN BOOT (11th Oct)
KNOXY HAUNTED BY GHOST OF MEREDITH (6th Oct)
KNOXY’S SECRET £20M DIARY (5th Oct)
JO KILLER HOOKED ON PORN AND TARTS (29th Oct)

There was Maddie of course…
MADDIE: COPS BUST 12 CHILD SMUGGLERS (27th FEB)
200 KIDS SNATCHED THIS YEAR (7th Aug)

And of course some international affairs on the side…
£10M TO GET GADDAFI (6th Mar)
QUAKE BRIT SAVES 42 KIDS (17th Mar)
IT’S WAR (20th Mar)
GADDAFI’S HUMAN SHIELD OF KIDS (22nd Mar)
GADDAFI ON RUN WITH 40 VIRGINS (23rd Mar)
MAD DOG PUT DOWN (21st Oct)

Oh yeah. Bin Laden died too:
BIN LADEN WAS A RIGHT DOPE (5th May)
BIN LADEN’S HOME VIDEOS (8th May)

At least we weren’t worried about it…
UK ON NUKE BOMB ALERT (3rd May)
FIVE TERROR SUSPECTS ARRESTED AT UK NUKE PLANT (4th May)

And our military was adequately protected…
WE’RE IN THE SHIP (10th Apr)

Yet some people didn’t appreciate our military…
SHEER HATRED: POPPY-BURN NUTTERS BACK ON STREET (24th Feb)
OUTRAGE: SICK POPPY-BURNING MUSLIM FINED JUST £50 (8th Mar)

But at least some people had a good time…
£18 MILLION I’LL BLOW LOTTO (16th Mar)
LOTTO COUPLE ON THE RUN (17th Jul)
£101M LOTTO WINNERS – WE’LL MAKE ALL OUT MATES MILLIONAIRES (12th Oct)

And don’t forget Richard Desmond’s Health Lottery to enjoy too!
£50M LOTTO TONIC FOR BRITAIN (28th Sep)
COWELL’S HEALTH LOTTERY FRENZY (3rd Oct)

And some people had a good time on our expense …
WORK’S BORING AND YOU HAVE TO GET UP EARLY… (23rd Feb)
SPONGER: WORK IS JUST SLAVERY (9th Mar)

And look to the future…
BECKS ON ICE (26th Nov)

And of course… our optimistic political future
ENGLISH DEFENCE LEAGUE TO BECOME POLITICAL PARTY (9th Feb)

Were there any headline news stories about Egypt? Or the ‘cuts’? Or the even anything about the economy?

No.

There was not.

Here’s a wordle with all the headlines together.

7 comments
  1. Stew said:

    At least 364 of my brain cells just died.

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