On the first day of Christmas Twitter gave to me
A spam account following me.

On the second day of Christmas Twitter gave to me,
Two non-sensical trending topics
And a spam account following me.

On the third day of Christmas Twitter gave to me,
Three interactions,
Two non-sensical trending topics
And a spam account following me.

On the fourth day of Christmas Twitter gave to me,
Four dodgy website links,
Three interactions,
Two non-sensical trending topics
And a spam account following me.

And the fifth day of Christmas Twitter gave to me…
FIVE FAIL WHALES
Four dodgy website links,
Three interactions,
Two non-sensical trending topics
And a spam account following me

On the sixth day of Christmas Twitter gave to me,
Six hashtags spelt wrong
FIVE FAIL WHALES
Four dodgy website links,
Three interactions,
Two non-sensical trending topics
And a spam account following me

On the seventh day of Christmas Twitter gave to me,
Seven virus direct messages,
Six hashtags spelt wrong,
FIVE FAIL WHALES
Four dodgy website links,
Three interactions,
Two non-sensical trending topics,
And a spam account following me

On the eighth day of Christmas Twitter gave to me,
Eight crap tweets by celebrities,
Seven virus direct messages,
Six hashtags spelt wrong,
FIVE FAIL WHALES
Four dodgy website links,
Three interactions,
Two non-sensical trending topics,
And a spam account following me.

On the ninth day of Christmas Twitter gave to me,
Nine retweets by weirdos,
Eight crap tweets by celebrities,
Seven virus direct messages,
Six hashtags spelt wrong,
FIVE FAIL WHALES
Four dodgy website links,
Three interactions,
Two non-sensical trending topics,
And a spam account following me.

On the tenth day of Christmas Twitter gave to me,
Ten people to unfollow discreetly,
Nine retweets by weirdos,
Eight crap tweets by celebrities,
Seven virus direct messages,
Six hashtags spelt wrong,
FIVE FAIL WHALES
Four dodgy website links,
Three interactions,
Two non-sensical trending topics,
And a spam account following me.

On the eleventh day of Christmas Twitter gave to me,
Eleven followers randomly from Texas,
Ten people to unfollow discreetly,
Nine retweets by weirdos,
Eight crap tweets by celebrities,
Seven virus direct messages,
Six hashtags spelt wrong,
FIVE FAIL WHALES
Four dodgy website links,
Three interactions,
Two non-sensical trending topics,
And a spam account following me.

On the twelfth day of Christmas Twitter gave to me,
Twelve retweets and high self-esteem,
Eleven followers randomly from Texas,
Ten people to unfollow discreetly,
Nine retweets by weirdos,
Eight crap tweets by celebrities,
Seven virus direct messages,
Six hashtags spelt wrong,
FIVE FAIL WHALES
Four dodgy website links,
Three interactions,
Two non-sensical trending topics,
And a spam account following me.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.